The REAL Mother's Day

My mom used to always take flowers to my grandmother on her own birthday. I always thought that was a nice idea, so, when I became an adult I did it too. It usually brought on my mother's tearful recollection of my birth story, her pregnancy, and a variety of stories of my childhood. I don't think it occured to me just how special it really was until I became a mother too. This last year, my oldest child turned five...and my husband, inspired by the flowers I send to my mom and his on our birthdays, took her to buy me flowers. She picked them out herself and when I saw it, I too burst into tears. My mind was filled with the joy of remembering all the little things about my pregnancy with her, the joy of her birth, and the humble pleasure I feel for being blessed with having her for a daughter. Mother's day, for me, is the day each one of my children came into my life.

It Snowed Last Night...What Fun!

Early this morning, my kids and I awoke to discover a beautiful white almost 2" layer of snow outside. Immediately, we donned our jackets, gloves and rubber boots (every walking child should have a pair) and went out to enjoy it. I haven't gotten anything productive done ALL MORNING because of the snow, but it was worth it. I wasn't always able to do that sort of thing. After I married and had kids I lost a little of my free spirit. I wasn't able to just "let it go" for the sake of fun, because there were just too many responsibilities to take care of. My mom told me a couple years ago something that helped me...

"Twenty years from now, no one will know if your house was clean or dinner was on-time, but they WILL know if you loved your children"

Sometimes, we have to let the "image" of perfection go for the sake of love and the enjoyment of life. The moments tick by so quickly...we have such little time to enjoy the youth of our children...why waste it trying to be the perfect woman. Let the laundry and the dishes wait a little longer...and go out in the snow to play with your kids!

Recovering The Woman I Was Before Kids

Someone once told me "you won't grow much spiritually when you have kids". I think what she meant was that children are a constant reality check. As for growth? Never in my life have I grown as much as I have since I had kids. I am not the same woman I was before I had kids. Motherhood has changed me. How can you have vulnerable, innocent pieces of yourself walking around and not be changed? My children are my investment. I pour the best of me into them daily. Why would I ever want to be the woman I was before I had kids? It is better to accept the person I have become and be ready to become the person I will be...always learning and always growing.

Lord, help me to accept the woman that I am now and to learn to set my eyes on your plan for me instead of trying to recover the woman I was before You blessed me with my precious treasures...my children.

Time For Myself?

In every parenting magazine I have read, from friends and family, and other mothers I meet as I go about my daily existence I hear the message "you need time for yourself". I believed that as well for about five years in fact. Daily I pursued "time for myself". I found, however, that the more I pursued "time for myself" the more I got behind, the more stressed out I felt, and the more I longed for "me time". I have to tell you..."me time" is over-rated. As I sought after God I discovered that my desire for "me time" was not in keeping with the proper priorities. Everything in my life was out of order, because I was putting "me" first. I began to put my life back into the proper order (God, husband, family, and everything else) and I have felt better for it. My relationship with God is improving, my husband is happier, I am able to really ENJOY my children, and I am not as stressed out. Of course, there are those who still believe strongly in "time for myself" and sacrifice greatly for it. Some even pay a sitter--not so they can go to work to help support the family, but--just to have time away from their kids. I was even asked to leave a very popular mother support organization, because my son wanted to be with me instead of in his class and I allowed him to stay with me. I was told "the mothers who come here pay money to get away from their kids...and they are distracted by your son in the group". Well, I don't know about you, but I didn't decide to be a mother so I could "get away from my kids". I LOVE being a mother...and I LOVE my kids.
Do you think that many will disagree with me about finding "time for myself"? Absolutely. Members of my own family already do...and they are Christians too. Everywhere I turn I hear the message that in order to be a good mother I need "time to myself". I am beginning to believe that message is the world's wisdom, and Christians unknowingly have adopted it. The Bible tells us " the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God". How true. We are called to separate ourselves from the world--to be different--to walk in LOVE. "The world will hate you...but, do not be afraid...I have overcome the world". I want my children to grow up feeling confident and secure. I don't think that my pursuit of "time for myself" was showing LOVE to my children or fostering confidence and security.

Lord, help me to not be afraid to do things Your way...to abandon the wisdom of the world in exchange for Yours.

I have learned that what I need is not "time for myself". I need HELP and ENCOURAGEMENT...and that is how those of us who believe as I do decided to start Mother's Village.